Ode to the great Pooh-Bah Ramen or Prison Delight

Funny how a taste of something will bring with it a flood of memories..today 'soup' did just that for me. Here's a little anecdote going back to the early 1990's...during the days I spent as a guest of the federal government.

I just ate a bowl of an old junky/doper's and struggling students favorite..the must have 'sodium laden and loaded with artery-clogging palm oil' staple found in every poor mans cupboard. Bricks of dried ramen noodles and packaged powdered broth "Ramen Soup!" Chicken noodle of course with a little cayenne thrown in for extra tastebud 'zings.' Every country must have these soups..found in all super market's..convenience stores and goodie welfare grab bags across North America..4 for a buck..a quarter for one or down to 8 cents a serving if bought by the caseload. Actually aquired a taste for them when I was inside prison. Anyone who's ever done time knows how pathetic prison cantines can be and cafeteria grub can be worse..made more so if you lack the funds to purchase cantine. For the price..well..a convict could do worse. Cheese..any cheese by-product or something remotely resembling cheese is hard to come by and classified a luxory in the pen. To be served & savored but once a month..at least at the one I was in. Naturally for a cheese loving gal like meself..this just would not do. I had to figure out a way to get my bi-weekly hits of all things cheese like..preferably 'cheddary' cheeselike.

I scanned the cantine menu looking for ways to do just this when low and behold..be still my incarcerated heart..I actually saw they were selling CHEEZ WHIZ® (like that '® ' pretty snazey huh..hehehe) aka good ole american processed cheese. Pricey pricey pricey..but as it was the most luxurious item on the list save for cigarettes..I suppose it earned its place as a top pricer after the sit they try and pas s of as cheese in the cafeteria. A good thing I didn't rely on the 2.19$ a day I made teaching pottery for cantine..or I would have craved more than just cheese..for a looong..looong time.

Back to the recipie. As luck would have it..I managed to secure the much respected and sought after prsion j.o.b. of delivering cantine every first Tuesday of the month. This position is a biggy (akin to CEO-ship or close) and much envied because whoever had it..had their finger on the pulse of the goings on inside..an important connection in any prison. It was considered a position of trust by both sides of the fence..and too..both sides knew the importance to the prison population of having a cantine delivery go off without a hitch. As well it paid a whole 5 cents more than my Atelier (workshop) position. Always ccompanied by a screw (guard) throughout..my day started filling the orders in the commissary then packing the bags for delivery to the women. As you can well imagine..more than cantine made it into some of those bags. What I liked best about doing cantine was the glimpses it afforded into areas of the prsion no other inmate ever saw save for a small cleaning crew..the librarian and those doing time in said section. In some cases I saw and became the only non-guard face these women had bothered looking at in over 6 years. Women who could not be in the general population because of the nature of their crimes..who were spit at..jumped at every turn or held in total contempt..became real people to me. For those few minutes on the first Tuesday of every month they were no more the sum of their crimes..than I was mine.

I held that job for my whole stay..not a reference I put on my creative resume.. though in hindsight..perhaps I should.

On that first cantine Tuesday as soon as I signed off on the last order and returned to the stock room, I grabbed my own signed and paid for cantine bag filled with 2..yes you read it here first and you read it right...'2' jars of delghtfully bright orange Cheez Whiz; and ran..in anticipation..almost sliding on my own salivia..straight into my cell. Alas..I could not wait to prepare my version of 'Soup O' Gratin' that time. Nope I sure couldn't..instead I deftly unscrewed that sucker..the familiar and much missed 'pop' of the top was music to my institutionalised ears; and dipped as many fingers as would fit way down into the Cheez Whiz jar..scooping up as much as my fingers could hold into my mouth. I know..a tad piggish..but until you yourself are that hungry for a certain flavor..crave its essence..judge me not good people.

Ahhhh pleasure I tell you..pure..pure..unadulterated & unbiased pleasure.

I cannot begin to describe the changes my tongue went through that day..the tastebud sensations were like none other before. Know my friends..the tongue can and does go through heavy detox's in its own right. I am a witness. Damn that was good. It's a real keeper that memory

Opps..be back..someone is bugging my front door...

Back..25th june 12:21 am.

Have asked this question before..why do people not call before they come over..nothing gets me like that gets me. Okay so it never bothered me before my days of using..but that was so long ago there can't possibly be anyone who still remembers my 'open door' policy. Yes I was a far more social soul with energy to spare back then. Perhaps she will return one day...until then..call first!

I've lost all desire to finish up this post..but I'll run over the 'Ramen O' Gratin' to wrap this one up. As I was saying..when I first made this in jail the ladies went nuts for it..some of us hadn't tasted melted crusty cheese in forever. Right..so you boil your water and have the Ramen soup either in a deep bowl..or if it comes in a cup like it did inside..even better for this. Now smear your Cheez Whiz all over the top nice and thick like..then pour the boiling water to just below the last of the noodles..making sure not to touch the cheese whiz with any water (very important). Cover the bowl with something heavy and let it sit for at least 10 minutes. If it's a cup same thing. Find yourself a comfortable spot..grab a box of Ritz crackers for the cheesy liquid soup left at the bottom of the bowl/cup when you're done sucking up the noodles..and remove the covering. Voila..you have instant 'Soup O' Gratin'..nice and hard and melted cheese on top..soft springy noodles underneath..excellent flavored soup broth at the bottom..and majorly yummy I promise you.

May not sound like much to you now..but if you ever find yourself behind bars craving cheese..I betcha time served..you think back to this post here.

*smile*

Later gator's...have yourself a sensational day filled with flavors galore.




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That's what prison soup is....M'm! M'm! Good!

It sure beats the hell out of



There's actually an art to the creating of Ramen soup taken quite seriously by folks in the far east. One of my favoirite movies is all about the making of the best ramen flavored soup. It's a 1985 Japanese film called 'Tampopo' the first Noodle Western (ha), by director Juzo Itami. In it ramen restaurant's' compete for business by trying to make the best broth to go with their ramen noodles. Now the instant soups I speak of in this post can in no way compete with the homemade..kinda like our instant soups here...still..I love them. Check this very unique and entertaining movie out if you ever feel the need to know about all things 'ramen.' Or even if you don't.



Tampopo

The Offical Ramen homepage with recipes et al.

In closing and however you choose to enjoy your soups..I wish you all very happy ramen-ing.