At 13 I tried & shot crystal methadrine for the first time. What causes a young person to venture from everything they know..from their parents home and into downtown streets looking for this sort of thing. It's a question I'll try and tackle at another time...needless to say some 30 plus years later I still don't have any concrete answers that make much sense. Bit I do have some ideas as to why it may have happened.
After a year or so of shooting speed quite regularly with my then older boyfriend I tried heroin. And the rest..well the rest as they say is history.
I wish I had before & after pics of myself during that time..but I do not..so these will have to serve as a reflection of that time. I thank whomever the lady above is..and I pray she's somehow found her way back.
For more 'faces' of Crystal Methadrine..Methamphetamines aka speed
Need help
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mary, i've looked at this post about three times, i don't have much to say. i hope you are doing well against your demons, i wouldn't even know where to begin. last year i had my license renewed, in 5 years and i could not tell the difference in my pictures, same exact hair mustache and goatee, for a moment i thought i was wearing the same shirt, i hadn't aged a bit (maybe i looked 5 years to old back then) i couldn't imagine changing like the girl in the photos. take care of yourself mary.
ReplyDeleteHi Mary. Your note touched me so much. I read it late last night and just cried. I couldn't respond last night.
ReplyDeleteYeah.. what made us venture down that path, anyhow? I was 13, too, when I started going down that path. I don't talk about the specifics of all that happened living that way because it's just too painful to remember it -- even though it's been "in the past" for close to 30 years. I guess it will always haunt me and make me wonder "why -- why did you ever go down that path".
You hang in there.
when I was on changes colors. I had to or else I would have been flipping burgers for the rest of my life. It caught up to me. .
You hang in there.
Hi Wis..yea I know hon it's very hard to look back on all that and keep ones wits in check. I mean I'm still dealing with it but what I did when I was younger was just crazy. People made bets I'd not make it to 20..but I did..then came 30..40 and soon to come the 1/2 century mark. In many ways it's amazing to me that I am still connected to it so strongly. For all intents and purposes I function normally..well for the most part. But then there's this opiate addiction I just happen to have.
ReplyDeleteAll very confusing sometimes...I'm aware a major change has to happen. It's just so bloody difficult to actually put into motion.
Writing helps though...and people like {{{you}}} too. I think one day we'll all of us come to some understanding of why..will it ever be good enough. Aww..this I'm not sure of.
I'll say this..from everything I've read on your blog, and felt...you're a strong compassionate and wonderful woman..and that Wisteria..is the point I think. You came out of it intact and better.
We are a combination of so many things..and it is all of these things together..the good and the bad that make us stronger..kinder..wiser and able to carry on.
Stay strong
x0x
I know Chuck..what is there to say really..it is what it is..and those pictures speak volumes. But I thank you much for saying what you did...it helps with perspective..and other things as well. Probably more difficult to understand if one hasn't been through it themselves or with, God forbid, a loved one. Then again..even those who have struggle with understanding.
ReplyDeleteSome (but not many) addicts are luckier than those we see in the pictures..the outside doesn't show as much as the inside hurt and damage feels. It takes a long time to come back from..to deal with and to understand.
As a people..a planet we should be doing better than we are on so many fronts. The need for more compassion..understanding and help goes without saying. I don't mean blind faith..but more than we've done so far. I suppose though there are still those that fight the good fight..and it's to those we must look if we are to save ourselves as a whole. Addiction is but one such struggle.
I'm glad you never changed all that much to notice. :O)
Be well Chuck.